Why MMO Gamers Should Stop Reproducing: MMOGrindHouse.com

Why MMO Gamers Should Stop Reproducing

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We all know that day after day the population in our world is increasing. The day will come when the natural resources present in this world will not be enough for every living creatures. Since the government failed to implement an efficient population management program and the Vatican’s no-condom policy failed in aids battle, a blog site StopReproducing.com comes to the rescue. They are devoted in giving various ideas on how to stop people from procreating as well as condemning certain groups that should be castrated to prevent them from contaminating the gene pool. One of those groups they exposed is no other than the “MMORPG addicts” like you. The sarcasm in the article is hilarious but it holds some truth to it. You can read the full article after the jump.

#7 MMORPG Addicts
by Bentley Wayland Hildebrand

In the event that you are a socially adjusted member of the general population that has never had the privilege of becoming a Level 42 Warlock leading a guild on a vision quest to the Shlomi Caves in order to attain the Elixir of Suffering while simultaneously attacking left over General Tso’s at 11 PM on a Saturday in your parents’ basement on your 34^th birthday, let us clarify that MMORPG stands for Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game. The most popular of the genre, World of Warcraft, has a following of over 11.5 million subscribers! Unlike regular video games, MMORPGs do not… ever… stop. Gamers who cease game play to participate in real life (i.e. sleeping, dating, face-to-face contacting) sacrifice precious opportunities to battle orks and gain virtual wealth, power and influence… in front of a computer screen… sitting in a chair!

MMORPGs provide an escape from reality. People who have trouble holding a steady job can climb the ranks from troll to guild master in the online fantasy world with a little dedication. Repulsive, socially awkward 40 year old virgins can consummate cyber-weddings with some creative double-clicking of the mouse. The MMORPG system rewards dedication to a virtual environment while promoting decay of a person’s life in the real world.

After a few years as intense gamer junkies, participants discover deteriorated health, decreased confidence in regular social settings, and dimmer career prospects. This does not bode well for their reproductive chances. In the event that MMORPG Addicts retrain their atrophied muscles, succeed in seeking out a mate, figure out how to procreate, and possess a high-enough sperm count to fertilize an egg, the descendants of these misfits have the odds stacked against them. They will be practically born into a virtua-land themselves; finding that the best way to connect with their parents is to get attached to the machine as well, feeding the addictive personalities they inherited.

MMORPG Addicts consume energy, food, and space while offering minimal returns to the society that supports them, but damn… they can really lead a guild and slay a one-eyed monster. Until these transfixed drones unplug, it’s best for the real world that they keep their own one-eyed monsters in their pants.

This article is contributed by Bentley Wayland Hildebrand of StopReproducing.com, you can read the rest of their funny and witty articles at http://www.stopreproducing.com/

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4 Responses to “Why MMO Gamers Should Stop Reproducing”

Firehands123 Says:
August 16th, 2009 at 2:54 am
God this is morebullshit than the person that wrote this has in his mouth
xxprimarchxx Says:
August 16th, 2009 at 5:11 am
lol you dont know anything about technology, ppl talk….n..talk…n..talk… whay dont you watch Zeitgeist. Thats just for starters…
asdasd Says:
August 16th, 2009 at 11:55 am
to me as a gamer, i find game addiction is totally different from drug or alchol related additctions because, its all due to a persons mind and/or social life.

if this person says game addicts shouldnt procreate or they are sapose to get loss or even kill them, they mind as well be called hitler because, thats wat he actually did. Hitler even move all of them to a seperate place away from their “pure” race.

If saying game addicts shouldnt procreate its pretty much saying anyone who is

-lazy(lots of gaming no work)-fat(hey gaming for a long time without otherstuff can do that to you and im assuming all game addicts are fat cause of that reason)-also there is no differences between a person gaming for 12+ hours a day compare to a person who watchs tv 12+ hours aday. do ppl not recongize tv watching as an addiction to?lol couchpotatos
madejski Says:
August 20th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Hildebrand is right. I’m sure he doesn’t endorse watching tv for 12+ hours a day either.

Hitler? asdasd, you sir are an idiot.

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